yesterday's sunset

did you see yesterday's sunset?
yes that beautiful one with 7 shades
no, it wasn't seven, it was 50
fifty shades of sunset as i'd like to say

if you didn't see it
it's because you might didn't notice it
or simply because it was too cloudy

yes i saw that gorgeous sunset
with its 7 shades
but it wasn't easy
because yesterday was cloudy

yes i saw yesterday's sunset
it was so beautiful with its 50 shades
but i had to fly 35000 feet high,
above the cloud,
to see 50 shades of yesterday's sunset


my camera

hey you!

i only have one camera
that i rely on all the time
that i took bad and good pictures with
that i prioritize the safety more than anything

i have shoes
lots of pairs of them
that i only use once or twice
that sometimes hurt and not all pretty
that brook easily

so you, whoever you are..
i want you to be my camera and not my shoes



kau telah ada di atasku sedari dulu
kau bagaikan selembar tipis kain sutra yang baru ditenun
menaungiku dan melindungui kulitku yang masih tipis
dari sengatan helios yang membara

disaat aku berjalan sambil menengadah
terkadang aku kehilanganmu
walau aku dapat melihat langit yang lebih biru
apa artinya jika kau tidak menyusup dan membuatnya lebih manis

dan sekarang kau menjadi kelabu
muram tak menentu
menghantuiku seperti itu
tak hujan dan tak juga sejuk

entah mengapa aku menyukai itu
diselimuti cemas dan ketidakpastian
diantara abu dan biru
diselimuti takut dan malu


People get tired, people get mad, and people get to cry.

I really want to, you know. Boo, you know I really miss you, and I really miss me. This all things are slowly killing me. These times should be one of the toughest times of my life. But funnily I can hardly cry. You know how much I easily cry. But these two days, there are not even a single tear running on my checks. No, it’s not really a god thing, boo. I can’t cry! What am I a machine?!

I have a really big project coming, boo. This is not just about pride, it’s self-acceptance. This is what I really want, what I've been dreaming of. But make it real, it’s another completely serious joke. Yes it hard, and yes I really want to accomplish it. Yet in the same time I’m afraid I’m going to lose who I am in the process. No, I am not the same; I've changed since the last time we met. Life has push me down and torn me to pieces. But then I go up and keep live on. Being tough in every single way is how I beat the beater. Yes, I realize I wasn't like this. I lost my sweet and tenderness.

I am now arrogant, boo. I don’t know how I became like this, but all the eyes watching me that way. I hate it, I hate me. I don’t like arrogance. I don’t want to have one or even be one. Life teaches me indirectly that I need it just a little bit. But I’m afraid I cannot stop, boo. What if it’s too addictive?
I don’t know if my arrogance is one of the reasons why I have to break up with him. Yes, boo, after one and a half year, I should quit him. Things got too complicated, especially with me. I felt that there’s no connection between me and him anymore. I talked to him awkwardly like we just met 5 hours ago. Completely different than what you knew. Now I saw him differently, I felt him differently. No it wasn't him boo, it’s all me.

We’re young, boo. We have egos, emotions, and thoughts that need to be free. I know that I do not take same the road as him anymore. We were parted by intersection to east and west, north and south. And ahead I’m seeing a slightly rocky and bumpy road. But don’t worry, boo, I have a whole lot of tires :)

aimes de ton amie silly-



do you know that word?
that word of 4 letters
whom give a life full of happiness yet misery

do you hear him sing?
the song of hope
the song of heartbroken

do you feel her touch?
touch of desire
touch of forgiveness

do you feel his heart?
screaming silently
holding so tightly

do you see her eye?
letting her sights go
catching a glimpse of outerspace

do you smell his scent?
so close to her heart
don't bother his position

do you taste the tears?
of sad and misunderstanding
of greatness in tomorrow